“Would you like an advent calendar this year?”
“Absolutely not.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I don’t like countdowns.”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
“Think about it. When are countdowns good? You get counted down to start a race and that’s frankly terrifying. You get counted down to a new year and that just reminds you of everything you didn’t do in the last year. There’s even a massive great clock that they use to show us how close we are to destroying the world. Countdowns are never good.”
“What about a gin advent calendar?”
“Ooh, go on then.”
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